Right. Confession to make. Since around August, I have found myself feeling lower than I have in a while, for an extended period of time, and I have accepted that I am probably depressed again. Having been through depression before, and having been out of it for a bit, being back there kind of sucks. I'm okay though. However, that's the thing... I'm just 'okay'. When someone asked me the other day whether I was 'good okay' or just 'okay okay', I had to answer with the latter, and it made me feel kind of lame to be honest. Not good, not bad, just perpetual okayness.
So with my fresher friends, it has become quite a common thing at the end of the night to play many rounds of the game 'Would You Rather'. However, one of tonight's questions got pretty deep, and it got me thinking. The question in question (lol, good one), was "Would you rather love someone and never be loved back, or be loved and never be able to love?"
So today marks a whole year since I wrote my first blog for The Amiable Network! What an eventful year it has been, though maybe it just seems more so because I've been documenting it to you guys via the internet, but I have loved being able to share it with you guys. Turns out I rather like this blogging thing.
It's been such a therapeutic and releasing thing for me to be able to put down all my feelings and life experiences into words, and I hope that you guys drew something from it too. It's strange to think that I just started this with Alex on a whim, writing about why I love Autumn, yet since then I have covered topics ranging from weight, singleness, and rejection to drifting friends and integrity.
Blogging has been a great way for me to develop my writing, but has also helped me turn my life experiences into stories worth telling. I've learnt to be more vulnerable, in the hopes that it will help you guys as much as it helped me.
Anyway, thanks for taking this journey with me, and here's to the next year. <3
This time (minus a few hours) last week, I was leading my first Bible Study group of the term. And there we were, sat with a load of freshers, new to the Christian Union, but also to Southampton, and something in me felt a strange pang. I remember so vividly my first hall group- where we all sat, what people wore, the thoughts they shared- yet this was no longer my new experience: it was somebody else's.