the blog of a 19 year old wandering through life half aimlessly, half with extreme purpose
2016 is finally over... WHAT A RELIEF. Hasn't this year just felt so long and arduous and bleak? I for one am extremely glad that come midnight we will be rid of it forever and sweeping into the new start which is 2017. Yes, yes, I know that at the start of this year, I was in a good place and was very optimistic about 2016 being one of the best years yet. Maybe though, if I look back, I can find the good in it. Maybe, although it's tried it's damned best, 2016 wasn't that terrible.
So something about me that a lot of people are surprised by, is the fact that I am an introvert. The reason that most are surprised about this, is down to one big thing- I never really shut up. I have an uncanny ability to be able to talk for days and days once you get me started, even if it is about the most trivial of things. Because of this, I myself have often questioned whether I am an introvert or not, or whether I'd been mistyped in regards to my personality type. As I've got older though, I've realised more and more that I am most definitely an introvert.
So sat with the family today, watching Seven Brides for Seven Brothers (or as I prefer to call it, Stockholm Syndrome: the musical), I went off on the usual diatribe that I do when watching the film. I went off on a rant about how it's disturbing and how the version of marriage and romance perceived is a deeply unsettling one. I was met with the responses of "but it was made a long time ago", "it's just a bit of fun" and other attempts at justifying the film. What this brought into question was my 'inability to just watch a film for what it is', but also my own ideas about love and romance. As they came under fire from older, more experienced romantics than I, I also began to question myself.
It's Christmas!!!!! Christmas is, and always has been, one of my favourite times of the year. However, as another Christmas has come and now gone, and it just 'was' rather than being good or bad, i'm faced with the unsettling reminder that I don't get as excited for Christmas now that I'm an adult...
So yet again, something that I really, really wanted, I have not gotten, or even been given the opportunity to have. As always, the disappointment has hit me pretty hard. However, as always, I still know that there is a reason and that I'm instead being called to do something else. But that's hard when you just don't know what.
You ever had that thing where you meet somebody and you know that you want to be friends with them? Everybody else thinks that you're crushing on them/ obsessing a bit too much (and maybe they're not entirely wrong), but underneath the surface is a pure and innocent desire just to get to know someone better. If you can't guess from the tone, I'm in a similar situation right now. But how exactly do you do that? How do you get to know someone better?
Over a year ago now, on the night I first started uni, I stumbled upon some people and started talking to them. In fact, one girl said she'd wait for me to go in the club, and even gave up her space much further in the queue to join me and some of the other people I'd met, at the back of the line. Those people now all live together, and I'm in fact still friends with them. It's as if we were fated to meet each other and I'm constantly glad for this.