As a committee member and Features Editor for an online and print magazine, much of my summer has been taken up by countless hours at my laptop. However, there are days where I give my absolute all to The Edge, and then there's times (like currently), where I lack the motivation to do any editing whatsoever. As well as this, helping this week at Fresher's at my uni has been another example of my caring too much and my inability to say no, as I have found my schedule overly packed with volunteering at various events. I love it, but doing so much causes me to burn out.
It's not just with activities, I find that my swinging between caring too much and not at all applies to people. I have always known that I care a lot about the people I love, but in the last year especially it has been made clear to me that when I love someone, I cannot help but love them with all my little heart has to offer. And this can really hurt sometimes. Unfortunately, in this area, it is often a case of caring too much, and not much of the opposite.
The thing is, as a new academic year is about to get into full swing, I really want to be better at the balancing act this year. I want to be able to decide the important things and do them: no half measures. Equally though, I want the things that are important to me to be the things that are actually important to others, so that I'm not just spending my life in a circle of self-servitude. I really want to be able to care and give my all, and sometimes this is really hard. As someone who experiences depressive periods, and someone who often gets anxious, it can be very hard to motivate myself to be a go getter- in fact, on some days it's hard to get out of bed. However, I'm determined that if I learn the art of balancing, and the art of 'all things in moderation', I'll be able to split my time between all the things I care about, and actually get out of this rut.
It's a 'Goldilocks' situation. Not too hot, not too cold, just right.
Don't care too much, don't care too little; just the right amount.