One of my biggest flaws, and something that has always been one of my weaknesses- is that I have always compared myself to others. Not by any choice of my own; I've just always seemed to do it- and I shouldn't. You shouldn't either. Comparing yourself to others is literally one of the most damaging and discouraging things you can do; I know that from personal experience, and I think it's something that not just me, but a lot of people need help with.
Another example of me comparing myself to someone else, is actually a person you readers have probably come to know quite well. In fact, I'm referring to Alex. Since you guys don't really know the story of our little friendship just yet, let me just quickly say that it took many years for me and Alex to get to the place we are. Alex and I starting spending time together when we were in year 8, and little 12 year old me thought she was one of the coolest people to ever live. 18 year old me still thinks that, but is slightly less intimidated by it now. Truthfully, I was pretty jealous of Alex. I felt that my friends wanted her around more than they wanted me, she was the more talented musician, she was the one who was picked for the solos, and let's be real- in general Alex is just pretty bloody amazing. Anyway, back to my point; my jealousy stemmed from me constantly comparing myself to her, and because of that, I was always so desperate to gain her affection and impress her. She is still the person who's opinion I care about most (except Jesus obvs), and I still constantly want her to be proud of me and want me around; but now I no longer feel like to do that I have to try and be like her. We are very different people, and that's okay. In fact, it's a pretty good thing.
Now to the recent thing that has reminded me of this important life lesson. So as you all know if you regularly read this little blog of ours, a couple of weeks ago I was turned down by a guy that I really rather liked. This guy, has recently been contemplating his feelings for not just one, but two girls- both of whom aren't me. In a situation like that, as much as you tell yourself you're fine and try as hard as possible to brush it off; you can't help but ask yourself, what is it that these girls have that I apparently don't? That's not a fun thing to ask, and as it has dawned on me, is actually not a fair question for me to ask. It's not fair on me, as it just makes me sad and stressed about trying to change myself to make him like me. It's not fair on my friend, as he is perfectly within his right to be attracted to whoever he wants to be; and finally- it is certainly not fair on either of those girls who are both lovely human beings and have no idea that someone is sat there being jealous of them for things they can't help/ aren't even aware of.
Let's be real: it is pretty much impossible to go through life without comparing yourself to the people around you. However, I think we have a duty to ourselves, and to the people we constantly compare ourselves to, to try and lessen this bad habit in our lives. I'm not saying it's a quick process, because it most certainly isn't, but I truly believe that you can have a much more fulfilling life if you aren't basing your perception of 'fulfilling' on other people's success.
You are the only you that you can be, and that's a good thing. We all have our strengths, and God knows we all have our flaws, but those things are the things that shape who we are and create the sense of 'you' that other people see. I know that it is extremely difficult not to ask why can't I be as kind as him? or as confident as her? or as pretty as her? or as smart as him? but until we stop asking those questions every minute of the day, we will never find time to discover the things about us that make other people ask those questions.
You are amazing. Please don't forget that. You are great as you are, and as you grow; you'll continue to become a stronger and more wonderful person.
I'm saying that to both you and myself, because sometimes we all need a little reminder that you're the best you.